Published by Self-Published on February 26th 2018
Genres: Contemporary Romance
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This wasn’t supposed to happen.
But it did.
This wasn’t supposed to be my life.
But it was.
I was just a typical girl, living a typical life. Nothing was out of the ordinary until tragedy threw me into a turnstile I couldn’t see my way out of. That was, until him.
I never could’ve imagined my heart falling the way it did. Hard, fast, and with unbounding beauty.
The only problem?
He was off limits.
But he became my everything, and I became his, so we risked it all. It was only a matter of time until I realized that our risk came with unimaginable consequences.
My name is Camellia Hale and his is David Andrews, and this is our love story.
This book is extremely hard to get into. We are almost immediately plunged into the mind of a very depressed 17 yr old girl. It’s not all sunshine and roses throughout. It’s darkness, tears, madness, and intense situations that some might find troubling. You need to be mentally prepared for this book. I was not and it wasn’t for the troubling situations or the forbidden relationship.
I had to stop so many times to remove myself from Cam’s mind that I lost count. I suffer from depression and am actually going through something myself right now. So reading this book was like adding onto that but also opening up thoughts that I like to keep hidden. It’s so easy to do when you read a book though. You find yourself completely lost in the story and their thoughts become yours and the next thing you know your mind is somewhere it shouldn’t be.
I knew Cam and David’s story wasn’t going to be easy but I never dreamed how hard it really was going to be. I loved that. I loved it wasn’t easy. I loved that it was real and it wasn’t perfect. I loved them together. They were good for each other and I didn’t see anything wrong with their relationship.
Secret Lucidity is deep and I mean deep. It brings forth so many topics at once. Forbidden romance. Cutting. Depression. Thoughts of suicide. If you are ready to read about those topics then it really is a good book. Still slow to get into and intense but good. You really need to read to judge for yourself. Don’t just take my word for it.
I love E.K. Blair’s writing. Her Fading Series til this day is one of my all-time favorites that I revisit very often. I was expecting Secret Lucidity to be just as amazing but for various reasons, it was the opposite for me.
Secret Lucidity is about a 17-year-old girl named Cam who falls into a deep depression after a fatal accident. Ever since then her life has changed. Her friends try to reach out but it seems she can longer fit in their world like she used to. The only person she was willing to open up to was her new swim coach, David who was 14 years her senior.
The age difference/teacher-student stories would not have bothered me. I have read multiple stories similar and this would have been unacceptable IF ONLY I could feel this soul-deep connection between the two but I am saddened to say that I couldn’t feel it.
That being said, the first half of the book made me feel extremely uncomfortable. It felt as if David took advantage of her vulnerability. Sure he got her back into swimming but as an adult shouldn’t David have tried harder to get her back on the right track rather than forming a relationship that she obviously wasn’t ready for?
I should’ve set this book aside halfway through but I am somewhat glad that I gave it a chance because the second half of the book was better than the first. Whatever they had for each other felt so much more real especially on Cam’s part. I was impressed with how she was willing to do just about anything to save David from his fate.
Then came the ending… I appreciated how everything came together BUT for me, their story as a couple ended so abruptly. The beginning of the book was so detailed. It was if the author focused more on the depression rather than building a lasting relationship. Honestly, I would have loved it more if in the end there was a better balance between the two.
If you asked me “Would I recommend reading this book?” Read what others have to say about it. My opinion is just one of many but please note that I try my best to always be fair and honest with all of my reviews. Considering it was written by such a great author I would suggest giving it a good go. I definitely would love to hear what you thought about it.