Series: Chosen Paths #2
Published by Self-Published on February 19th 2016
Genres: Contemporary Romance
Source: ARC, Borrowed, Purchased
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“Shhhh, Cassandra, it’s our little secret.”
Secrets are stubborn things when they refuse to remain hidden. They tear through your soul, clawing and lashing until the pain becomes so unbearable, you’re left no choice but to silently scream your agony. No one hears you, of course. You smile on the outside and drift through life as though your mind is at peace, but all the while, you remain your own tortured prisoner. Sealed inside the darkened, soundproof room of your conscience, deafening cries echo as you plead for someone to unlock the door and release you from your nightmares. And eventually, when no one comes, you find ways to cope. To dull the suffering the only way you know how.
But what happens when you’ve become so numb, when everything around you has become so blurred, that you begin to lose focus on the saving grace standing directly in front of you? When you’ve anesthetized yourself to the point of losing consciousness, forced to watch as his once solid image fades away, lost to your reach in the haze as it smothers you?
What do you do then?
You fight. You heal. Then you bring him back.
Well, my name is Cassie Cooper, and it’s time.
No more secrets.
This is my story.
Q&A Review With Micah, Angie and Liezel
What do you enjoy most about L.B. Simmons and this duet of books?
Angie: I agree with Micah. L.B. Simmons is a very talented writer and this book definitely showed how talented she is. I absolutely love Under The Influence but Out of Focus showed how much L.B.’s writing has grown.
Liezel: I will be honest and say that I haven’t read a lot of L.B. Simmons yet after reading “Out of Focus”, it made me question why I skipped over most of her books because this story in one word was …. phenomenal.
What did you think about Dalton and Spencer vs Cassie and Grady as couples?
Micah: Both couples, I felt, belonged together. Given the stories, I believe this leaves no question. Dalton and Spencer were childhood friends that grew into lovers. Cassie and Grady had an instant connection that was almost creepy. But we’re kind of used to those immediate connections in books. Oh, how I wish it happened in real life! That isn’t to say it was insta-love. Far from it. Cassie had so many walls built up around her, it would take a mac-truck to break them. And that truck is Grady with his ever patient presence in her life.
Angie: Dalton and Spencer- you knew they were made for each right off the bat. There are no questions. When Dalton first saw Spencer when he was on her porch, you just knew they were going to be together. Their relationship was real and raw.
Cassie and Grady- Like Micah said you knew because of their instant connection that’s only in books that you just knew Grady was Cassie’s match. No matter what she did to try to deny what she felt for him or the voices told her he was determined to break through and make her trust him. I love their relationship. Fuck or fight?
Liezel: I can not really compare the two couples since I have yet to read the second book but since my closest bookish friends (with whom I value their opinions dearly) are even willing to compare the two has me wishing that I could just drop everything and learn about the first couple. Cassie and Grady to me were beyond perfect together.
What was the strongest part of the story, in your opinion?
How did Out of Focus compare to Under the Influence?
Would you recommend this book?
Only twenty-three years old, and I’m so goddamn tired.
I used to be so much stronger. I somehow kept the voices at bay, the memories locked away safely, contained within the confines of my mind. But with each passing day, I feel the glow of my once-luminous strength fading. Darkness encases me now, bowing the walls of protection I put into place years ago. My past is an ever-present nightmare, repeatedly tapping, slowly fracturing the window of my sanity.
I have no doubt that it’s only a matter of time before the glass finally breaks. Blackness will eventually seep through its cracks and deliver me from the safety of my façade into a reality that will destroy me.
I’ve done my part. I’ve kept the secrets thrust upon me with dedicated believability. My portrayal of who I am has become a blurred, hazy version of the once very distinct Cassie Cooper.
I read an ungodly amount of trashy romance novels.
I’m the overtly sexual and foul-mouthed friend who will say anything to get a laugh.
And I have exactly zero fucks to give to what anyone else thinks about my actions.
But the reality, the actuality, is this:
I read obsessively to escape my own world. To live the dreams of others when, for so long, the reoccurrence of my nightmares has been my reality. I read to fall in love and find a happily ever after, even if it is purely imagined. With each story I read, I’m able to live and love vicariously through the characters in my books. It’s the only plausible way for me to survive.
I threw away my virginity at the age of thirteen just to prove something. And when I found that proof, that vindication I was looking for, I sought it every chance I could. Sex is about control for me. Nothing more. The act will never be about making love, like it is for the heroines in my books. I will never be granted the beauty of that gift.
I use humor as a form of avoidance. I draw upon laughter to block the pain. And I smile to mask the agony of the eight-year-old soul who weeps within me.
And the fucks . . . well, that’s not entirely accurate either.
I have given two to be exact: One to my best friend of seventeen years. She knows nothing of my past, and although she so willingly disclosed the horrors of hers, mine remains hidden for no other reason than to avoid the pity she would undoubtedly cast my way if I were to ever tell her. I don’t want her pity. I would sooner die than have her look at me in any other way than with pride.
The other died with the person to whom it was given. Anthony “Rat” Marchione. He was my one allowance of naïveté. The one person I actually wanted to touch me, to hold me, to love me. He was going to rescue me from my brokenness as though I were a character in one of my books. Young and senseless, I thought he was to be my eventual happily ever after, but tragically, he was murdered five years ago.
Black coldness waits in vain to leech the void where his once beautiful existence filled the pieces of my irrevocably shattered heart. Where he temporarily healed the hurt of the innocent child and quieted the voices that tormented her.
He’s gone now. I’ve accepted that. And in turn, I have relinquished all dreams associated with finding the light at the end of this miserable tunnel.
I will keep trudging through this life . . . this sentence handed to me for someone else’s crime, my payment shackled by secrets and weighted with lies. I will continue to do so with the same fraudulent smile on my lips and play the part of the strong heroine so convincingly, that even I believe it.
It’s only a matter of time before my fictional strength wears out—when I’m no longer hidden safely inside my protective blur—and I have to face the very real and lucid image of my past.
But until that time comes, I’ll do all I can do.
All I have ever done.
I will pretend.
|My Review At A Glance|
|Story Flow and Pacing|
|Heat/ Sexual Tension|
|Overall:||4.7 / 5|